ABA ... OR THE ART OF THE ASK

It happens to us all:  We get shy.  Tongue-tied.  Even be-set with laryngitis when we seek favors or advice or work.

The why is obvious.  We’re asking for something from someone we don’t know very well.  If at all.  We’re suddenly unsure of the response, or the person, or ourselves.

If we think about it, though, the art of the ask is awfully close to the art of selling.  About a year or so ago, we advocated that designers, marketers, and others who make up our profession learn how to sell, read signals, and master how to close. 

We’re changing our minds … slightly.  There’s a kinder, gentler form of sales that all of us need to get comfortable with:  substituting the ABCS (the “always be closing” acronym) with ABAs or Always Be Asking.  Requests, in our opinion, are a softer form of selling, and the most likely to be used, day in and day out, in these days of electronic everythings.

“Let’s set a date to sit and talk about your challenges.  I’ll call you … “

“Do you know Mr. Chief Client Officer at major corporation X?  I’m getting ready to meet with his staff – and would like to hear what you know about their work.”

“Would you mind being my bounce on this article?  I could truly use your feedback.”

These are specific asks.  And straightforward, no dithering allowed. 

For asks, you might also consider the quid pro quo (i.e., a give for a get) as well as the open ask.  And then be very very surprised by what you hear.

After all, what’s the worst your askee can say?

UPTALK, DOWNTALK

Little news notes fascinate us.

Especially when arcane research is released.  Most recent on our hit list?  A study from a William & Mary sociologist who studied Jeopardy! contestants (double exclamation point) to look at the incidence of answering questions with a question.

It’s called uptalk.

Not surprisingly, women were nearly twice as prone to lift their voices at the end of a sentence; men, only when correcting a female colleague.  The sociologist suspects that high-powered women lilt to appear less dominant, more likable.

In case we jump to other psychological theories, another academic, this one from San Diego State, claims that kind of intonation doesn’t necessarily signal powerlessness; it’s simply just another way people talk.  [Then again, she’s from the land of the Valley Girl.]

What this all means is, obviously, subject to much interpretation.  The underlying message to us, as communicators and brand and design folks, is that how you say it is far more critical than what you say.  According to linguistic experts, your voice gives others cues to stress, age, socioeconomic status, anxiety, gender, personality, and culture (among other indicators).  Voice sounds influence those around you:  deeper tones are more memorable, for instance.  Foreign accents strain for credibility … at least, to U.S. listeners.  And familiar voices are instantly recognizable (just ask our pets).  We raise and vary our pitches for emphasis, to show surprise or irony or enthusiasm, or to simply pose a question.

Media and speech coaches, take note.  As should all of us who agree with Benjamin Disraeli’s contention that there’s no index of character so sure as the voice.

IN _______* WE TRUST

It’s a phrase we see all the time – especially on our currency.

It’s not one we always hear in our cubicles, offices, and meeting rooms.

This favorite five-letter word of PR and advertising and communications and branding consultants – trust – has been plumbed and probed through innumerable surveys and opinions.  Most of those polls deal with the outlooks of external constituencies, measuring the barometer of our feelings toward public institutions and officials, toward industries and individuals.

Yet not so much exists about the bond between employees and leaders, and how to establish that trust in the first place. 

Steven Covey talks about the 13 behaviors of a high-trust leader.  Forbes and Fortune columnists opine on the ten (or fewer) signals of executives that showcase trust.  Read them carefully; few words guide new (and old) C-suiters on exactly how to build those relationships.

And yes, relationships drive trust.  We’ve got to know that leaders have our backs, that they’ll do what they say they’re gonna do, and that they be real, or ‘authentic’ (as the current verbiage goes).  That’s a commonly accepted trust platform.

As employees, we’d add more:

• Ask us what we’d do about the issues if we were in your shoes.  Chances are, we’ve lived them … intimately.
• Listen.  We don’t always get to dialog with leaders.
• And talk with our customers.  They, too, can pinpoint challenges and opportunities.

In this world of phone and Internet spying, of data breaches and mining, just make us promises you’ll keep.

*You fill in the blank.

MERRILY WE GO ALONG ...

Leading today has become a dirty word.

Almost every week there’s a story of a president, a politico, a business guru who falls and fails.  U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs leader Eric Shinseki is the latest; we’ll guarantee there will be others … and soon.

No question:  Consequences of leader actions and decisions are often front-page news before there’s time to sneeze.  The microscope of public opinion is much more harsh, more intense, and less forgiving than even a year or so ago. Even as individuals, we have far less patience, and a far quickened anger, with those who do us (or others) wrong.

Is part of the issue a lack of followership?  Ever since Robert Greenleaf coined the word “servant-leader” in 1970, there seems to be a tacit understanding that the best leader is also a follower, a servant.  Yet the gaps between understanding and practice today are quite large.

The difficulty, we say, lies in the word ‘follower.’  It sounds half-hearted, wimpy, tantamount to a losing proposition.  It’s the mark of an also-ran, a high-potential who never reached the business summit.

Yet all capabilities of any leader, from awareness and diplomacy to courage, collaboration, and critical thinking, must be embedded in the astute follower too.  Getting ahead these days demands that we seize the initiative, anticipate, become goal driven, and offer solutions – as well as being compassionate and loyal.  Leaders, in sum, aren’t the only ones who have these attributes; we too need to learn, to assume, and to be satisfied with following. 

Perhaps the word “follower-leader” needs a PR campaign.  Or, in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, an acceptance of the re-phrasing of Polonius’ advice to Laertes:  “neither a leader nor a follower be.”