REWORKING OUR NET

At yesterday’s lunch, we overheard – okay, deliberately – a twinned table talking about business development, referrals – and networking.

[Yeah, we like to eavesdrop.  It reveals a whole ‘nother side of humanity.  Sometimes funny or not.  But always enlightening.]

That started us on the topic, and the ways in which we abuse networking.  Just remember these various and sundry conversations:

“Boy, my business isn’t what it should be.  Gotta start networking … again.”

“Alice just got laid off.  Wonder when she’s gonna understand the value of networking.”

“I’m going to a (fill in the blanks) conference next month.  Guess I better stock up on my business cards as hand-outs.”

The concept of one-way connections just doesn’t work anymore.  Sure, information on individuals is more plentiful than ever, whether we Google, LinkIn, gtweet, or otherwise contact new and old acquaintances.  And the e-friendships do work, at least for a while.

Cynical-ness and skepticism, though, win out.  In the back of our minds:  What does s/he want?  Why are they bothering with me – and I’m not sure I can do anything?

Here’s our solution:  Swap the word for ‘relationshipping.’  It better connotes what we should  be doing:  Giving, rather than receiving.  Asking for the beginnings of a business friendship.  Inquiring about your health and welfare first, then, later, talking about me.  Providing value in the forms of time and thought, from scanning and sending an article of interest to mutually beneficial introductions.  Being old-fashioned enough to enjoy face-to-face conversations, and the delight of human connections.

Yup, it’s a favorite topic, one we tend to return to.  People, too.

ABA ... OR THE ART OF THE ASK

It happens to us all:  We get shy.  Tongue-tied.  Even be-set with laryngitis when we seek favors or advice or work.

The why is obvious.  We’re asking for something from someone we don’t know very well.  If at all.  We’re suddenly unsure of the response, or the person, or ourselves.

If we think about it, though, the art of the ask is awfully close to the art of selling.  About a year or so ago, we advocated that designers, marketers, and others who make up our profession learn how to sell, read signals, and master how to close. 

We’re changing our minds … slightly.  There’s a kinder, gentler form of sales that all of us need to get comfortable with:  substituting the ABCS (the “always be closing” acronym) with ABAs or Always Be Asking.  Requests, in our opinion, are a softer form of selling, and the most likely to be used, day in and day out, in these days of electronic everythings.

“Let’s set a date to sit and talk about your challenges.  I’ll call you … “

“Do you know Mr. Chief Client Officer at major corporation X?  I’m getting ready to meet with his staff – and would like to hear what you know about their work.”

“Would you mind being my bounce on this article?  I could truly use your feedback.”

These are specific asks.  And straightforward, no dithering allowed. 

For asks, you might also consider the quid pro quo (i.e., a give for a get) as well as the open ask.  And then be very very surprised by what you hear.

After all, what’s the worst your askee can say?