KINDERGARTEN ETIQUETTE: Play nice!

It could be a flipped finger, any digit.

Or a brusque response to a neutral comment.

Eating out and cellphone conversations, at the same time.

Even an online snippet that somehow can’t be recalled.

Many have called this incivility in America.  We prefer naming this, simply, bullying.  Because in any shape or form, in a variety of public forums, a sharp retort, interpreted a wrong way, can result in lost productivity, future bad behavior, employee turnover, and the very unfortunate downside of increased violence and suicide.

Research and academic institutes affirm this.  To no one’s surprise, an August 2013 survey of U.S. adults reveals that bullying experiences number more than two a day.  Half of respondents ended friendships; more than a quarter left their jobs. 

Apologies, usually, aren’t enough.  A number of employees are starting to instill and reward kinder, gentler actions.  NSA (we’re not kidding here) launched a program to increase cordiality, from registering compliments to recognizing those who show up early for meetings.  A Louisiana health system established the 10/5 rule:  Practice eye contact at ten feet; greet within five.  Boorish behavior has been banned from the folks who edit/work at Wikipedia; its code of conduct mandates that editors participate in the writing process in respectful and considerate ways.

What else is needed?  Role modeling, for sure (and that’s an activity that we should excel at, as communicators and marketers).  Two:  Promote and adopt the principle of least drama, solving an issue with the minimum of noise and hubbub. 

Lastly, admit it (we will, if you will):  Life was much simpler when we were taught to treat each other the way we wanted to be treated. 

RANDOM ACTS OF COMMUNICATIONS

In holidays past, way past, those little green elves from the late, great Marshall Field’s store would run around Chicagoland and perform what were dubbed “random acts of kindness.”

Senior citizens, outside in the cold, would get stick lip balm.

Kids strolling along State Street were handed yummy hot chocolates.

Free ornaments would glitter in hands of passers-by.

Not to mention gifting those huggable Field’s teddy bears and British racing green shopping bags.

Though definitely not yet the season, we remembered these activities recently, after perusing a University of Rochester psych professor’s research findings.  About newlyweds, of all subjects.  The study?  How to show compassion.  The results?  That small selfless acts increase individual (and couple) happiness.

Well, duh … sorta.  What tantalizes us is the professional reciprocity:  In these busy, stressed days, when everyone takes everybody and everything for granted, these randomnesses might just work in our own worlds of communications and branding and design.

It’s all about TLC, you see, and articulating, usually through behaviors (rather than words), that the person(s) are appreciated and respected.  Further, that their needs and concerns are recognized.  Think about the apps …

Project teams, laboring on long and intensive initiatives, usually get honored by an end-of-project dinner.  Why not once a week, when it’s unexpected, hold a “complimentary” (deliberate spelling) lunch? 

Going above and beyond responsibilities deserves a spur-of-the-moment notice … notes to the manager of managers, even a half day off.

How about a broadscale communications, to the department, even division wide, about the great work that’s being done in marketing and design?  Even if it’s in process?

It’s important, the professor underscores, to be open to requests, accept without judging, and go out of the way to simply “be there.”  Sure sound like good principles for succeeding at what we do.

OUR CUPS DON'T RUNNETH OVER

It’s sorta expected, in our business.

After all, we’re outside experts or, at the best, business partners who work with companies on a variety of short- and long-term projects. Though we might be around for a while, we’re definitely hired help.

All fine.  So the idea of thanks (given to us) is somewhat novel, and one that’s never guaranteed.  Nonetheless, we do perk up when we hear good words, and remember the whos and whats of the conversation.

What’s unexpected, though, is the endemic lack of thanks today in the workplace, full-time colleagues and leaders who work for one company.  In its typical fashion, The Wall Street Journal, late last year, riffed on a recent “there’s no gratitude” survey, then proceeded to set up a typology of those managers who just couldn’t show appreciation.   To us, the publication’s five characters were (pick one):  1) somewhat stereotyped, 2) overblown, and/or 3) created for the sake of a headline.

For whatever reasons (and feel free to make up your own), thanks just isn’t embedded in contemporary vocabularies.  Or, if it is, it’s somehow, er, fake.  How many times have you gotten an e-missive that, oh by the way, acknowledges your contributions (usually the middle of a list of things you have to do)?  Or been lobbed an off-handed compliment on the way out the door?

We’re not imagining this.  Survey says, for instance, that only 10 percent utter a thank you to colleagues, while 7 percent manage to be gracious to the boss-person.  Are dollars or other tangible rewards good substitutes for an authentic note about “job well done”?  Is everyone way too busy to look back and forward on a day’s work to compliment the support given?  Or do we need to add an amendment to the Ten Big Ones about being grateful each and every day?

Aretha, you got it right.